The Three Things In Life We Can Control
There are only three things in this life that we can control, which I call the DEA Triad (don’t worry, it has nothing to do with the Drug Enforcement Agency!). They are:
1) Our Diet:What we put into our bodies (what we drink and eat).
2) How much we Exercise:How well we take care of our bodies (how much we exercise, move)
3) Our Attitude.
That’s it. Everything else is out of our ultimate control, being influenced, shaped and determined by external forces, happenings or circumstances.
Now many of us are under the impression that we control lots of other things in our lives, such as how much money we make, how loved we are, where we live, or how successful we are in our careers. But if we really just thought about it we would realize that none of these things are in our direct control. A person could be the most thoughtful, loving, exciting, perfect spouse and their mate could still decide to leave them. A person could be the most brilliant, creative, innovative, talented musician and still have a hard time making a living. A person could be the hardest-working, dependable, creative and profitable employee and still lose their job due to outsourcing, offshoring, catastrophic accidents (see BP) or layoffs. The sooner we accept that we have limited control over our life circumstances the better.
Of course when I say ‘we’, I’m referring to most normal, relatively healthy adults, and not to children or people who are extremely disabled( although many of them are more self-responsible than the ‘normal’ ones). So, where does these leave us?
Most of us spend the majority of our lives focusing on trying to control things out of our control, and this always leads to disappointment, frustration, anger and self-pity. We tell ourselves,’ I was a good person’, ‘I was a hard worker’,’ I was a good student’,’ I was a good spouse’, ‘I played by the rules’, etc, so “Why didn’t things work out the way ‘they should’ or ‘fairly’? Why, oh why me?!?”
Instead we should focus on controlling the things we can control. If we pay attention to the quality of the things we eat and drink the chances improve that we will be healthier and feel better. No guarantees ,of course, but we are moving the odds in our favor. The same thing with exercise, movement-The more we exercise the better the chances that we will feel and look better. And if we are really honest with ourselves, we will acknowledge that we do have control over what we eat and how much we exercise. We just find it easier to rationalize that we really would eat better and exercise more but we don’t have the time, the money, we live in the wrong place, our spouse is not supportive, yada,yada,yada.
But it’s really the third thing in our control that is really the Key. Cause once we realize that it’s our attitude about life, about circumstances, about problems, that determines how happy and content we are, and that WE CONTROL OUR ATTITUDE, then we no longer have to worry about all those things we can’t control. If, when something goes ‘wrong’ in our lives, instead of feeling self-pity, frustration or anger, we remind ourselves that we are mentally, spiritually and emotionally strong and that we have survived hard times before, we will not only survive but thrive. Once we let go of trying to control everything in the world and just CONCENTRATE ON THE THREE THINGS we can control we will finally find peace. We can then stop fighting all the time and start enjoying life. Remember, that no one else can make you feel happy or unhappy, it’s all your control. Watch your Diet, Watch your Exercise,Watch your Attitude and Watch your life improve.
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