The Power of PAO

Money Problems Are Opportunities

Lack of money is the root of all evil

I don’t know if this quote is completely true but we can all agree that having more money makes life easier.  Sometimes we see instances where it seems that people’s lives are harder because they were born with, inherited, or came into a lot of money, but  I don’t believe that having lots of money messed up these people’s lives.  I think these people would have messed up lives if they were poor, too, it’s only we probably wouldn’t hear about it, because people don’t want to hear about the lifestyles of the poor and anonymous.

But for the majority of us, not having enough money causes us much stress and some sleepless nights.  All of the statistics show that for the majority of Americans, the cost of everything continues to rise as our incomes remain stagnant.  Gas prices are at an all-time high, food prices are climbing, imports are getting more expensive, college costs are going through the roof, and all the while our incomes aren’t keeping up and for many of us, they have dropped.  And all the signs point to tougher times ahead for the foreseeable future, while the rich are getting richer and obscenely richer (see Goldman Sachs).  People are getting desperate and looking for answers.  What will we do?!?

First off, let’s get this out of the way: the government is not going to save us.  The President, whoever it is, it’s not going to save us.  America is in such a hole of debt and political corruption that even if we did finally get some honest, intelligent, and brave leadership in Washington, things probably wouldn’t get significantly better for at least 20 years.  And with the rise of China, India, and other world economies and America being in deep debt to many of these countries, our time at the top of the heap may be over.

So, enough good news.  The question is, from Mr. and Mrs. Average American, what do we do now?  Most of us are programmed to see financial difficulties (or any difficulty, for that matter) as being caused by us not having the right supply (skills, positions, talent, looks) for the current demands.  When we need more money we try to acquire “in demand” skills or trade in possessions or on our looks or personalities, to get more.  This may work for while but usually after a period of time, the demands change, or the size of the supply grows to a point where the need for yours diminishes or disappears.  Globalization, changing demographics, more old people, more young people, more immigrants, etc.  If you’re fortunate enough to live long enough you’ll be witness to major changes in the economic, social, and political structure of any country you live in.  Just think about it, did anyone predict 30 years ago that the American automotive and airline industries would both be struggling to remain viable today?  No one.  Think about it.  The American steel industry.  Gone.  American clothing manufacturing.  Gone. American electronics manufacturing.  Gone.  In fact, what do we make here anymore?  Not much.  It’s no surprise that the middle class is disappearing.

So, what do we do?  The first thing you must do, it’s absolutely necessary, is that we must give thanks for all our blessings.  I know many of you as saying, ‘What are you, crazy, I have so many problems that I’m this close to ending it all, and you want me to be thankful?!?  You have got to be kidding!’  But, I am serious, very serious.  It is imperative if you, or anyone, wants to be able to survive tough times and prosper in the future, that you must begin by first taking time to get by yourself, think of all your blessings, and give thanks for them.  No matter how hard things are, if you are alive, you are doing better than 100 per cent of the dead people, so you have something to be thankful for.  Each day alive is an opportunity for hope, a chance for a better life, for helping others, for laughing, loving, smelling the flowers, watching the birds, for living.  And, as long as we have life, we have a chance, we have an opportunity.

One example of a money problem that, unfortunately is all too familiar but can also be an opportunity, is credit card debt. According to the latest statistics for the year 2008, the average American household is carrying $8229 in credit card debt, and because of the recession the default rate on this credit card debt is at an all-time high. Now we could examine the root causes of why we have become The Debtor Nation on a micro (individual) and macro (national) level, but that would involve getting into investigating who is benefiting from the proliferation of debt, and that is an analysis better left for another time. But the fact remains for many of us, we are carrying this giant credit card monkey on our backs and it is wearing us down. So, how do we use this monkey to our advantage?

Once again, we must remember that any problem we have is an opportunity for learning and the knowledge we gain can be used to prosper. For example, let’s say you have $20,000 in credit card debt. You don’t know exactly how you got yourself into such a hole, but that debt is keeping you from sleeping at night and scaring the beJeezus out of you. What are you going to do? Well, you’re going to have to figure out a way to either pay off the debt or get it reduced or eliminated. How do you do this?

First, we must always remember that We Are Not Alone, and Our Problems Are Not Unique. When we are going through any difficulty, but especially when that difficulty is something that we think has the stigma of shame or we should be embarrassed by, we want to hide our problems and try to figure it out on our own. Big Mistake! God gives us problems so we can help each other. The millions (probably billions) of others who have gone through the problem of being in debt have wisdom that you can use to help yourself and others. When you tap that wisdom, whether it be by talking to others, reading, doing Internet searches, or if you just sit back and ponder, “What’s the best way to get out of this debt situation?”, you then can gain wisdom and knowledge. And wisdom and knowledge are the most valuable ‘possessions’ you can have, because from the time we are born, we start on a lifelong quest for wisdom and knowledge.

So, once you work your way out of the debt hole, through using the ways and methods you learn from others or ‘figure out’ yourself, then you are in a position to prosper by sharing the wisdom you have gained. For example, if you were in deeply in debt to the credit card companies, would an article titled, “How I eliminated $20,000 of credit card debt in less than two years” pique your interest? How about a book entitled “From debt slave to debt free in one year!”? How about a seminar or college class called “How to get out of debt and get your life back”? The possibilities are almost endless and once you travel that journey from problem haver to problem solver, you have become The Expert on your particular problem solving path, you can be that blogger, that author, that teacher. Now, I’m not saying it will be easy or quick or painless to get rid of your money problems. If problems were easy to solve, they wouldn’t be problems and then we wouldn’t need each other’s help, now would we? So, if you have money problems, use the Power of PAO and (1) remember, you are not alone and you are not unique, (2) begin your wisdom search and exploration mission, (3) begin your journey to debt freedom and wealth, and (4) once you are debt free and have solved your money problem, share your wisdom and knowledge to prosper and grow.

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Problems are God’s way of keeping us from being bored.

Family Problems Are Opportunities

Families, love them or hate them (Boy, sometimes they drive you crazy!), we all have them.  They ‘borrow’ money that never gets paid back.  They borrow your car and total it in an accident.  They eat up all the food in the fridge.  They get arrested and expect you to bail them out.  They take out their anger at the world on you.  It’s enough to make you wish you were an orphan sometimes. ☺

But as much anguish as our families can put us through at times, we all still love them and want the best for them.  So, what are some ways we can use the problems of having (being in) a family to grow and prosper?

Let’s take for example, an all too common problem faced by many parents, the rebellious teenager that is driving them close to infanticide.  They won’t listen, they’re defiant, they talk back, they’re getting in trouble at school, they are hanging out with the wrong crowd, the list is endless, or at least seems that way to parents.  How can this stress-causing, soul-racking, regret-inducing situation be an opportunity?  Where is the silver lining on this cloud of adolescent hormones?

First we have to step back from the situation and look at it with the eyes of experience.  We know that this phase is not abnormal, that to some degree all teenagers rebel against their parents.  It is likely that we ourselves gave our own parents some gray hairs by some of the things we did as teenagers.  Even those of us who were “good kids” as teens did some things, most likely behind our parents backs, that would have caused them angst or worry if they knew about it.  Even those who didn’t get into any trouble as teens have brothers, sisters, or friends who were rebellious, so we know the behavior is not abnormal (actually, the abnormal ones are those who aren’t rebellious).  So, the first thing we have to do is take a deep breath, sit back and relax.  You are not the first parent to go through this and you certainly will not be the last.  And this is where your opportunity appears.

When you realize that you are not unique, that you are not the first parent to have a troubled teen, then you can draw upon that vast body of experience and knowledge of those who came before you and those who are also going through a similar experience right now.  Think about it, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  You have millions, billions of others who have gone or are going through what you are and they can help.  But more importantly, you can help them, too!!  As you talk to others, as you do research, as you ask for help, you can share your knowledge, your experiences, your observations, it’s amazing!  You are not only a student in the school of teenage parenting; you are also one of the instructors.  Talk to your parents, talk to your relatives, your in-laws, your friends, your coworkers, read books, read magazines and newspapers, watch documentaries and movies, take it all in, process it, implement the parts you think may work.  And then share it.  And when you share your no longer just ‘a parent’, you are a teacher also.  Your knowledge makes you so.  You have taken a ‘Problem’, a rebellious teenager, and used it as an opportunity.

I know a lot of you are saying, “Who would want to read a book by me, I don’t have any more special knowledge than I’m sure those people with Ph.D.’s and MDs behind their names have.  Plus, I’m not good at writing grocery lists, let alone a book”.  Let me tell you, you are wrong.  You know who you have more knowledge than about raising teenagers?  Those who have young children or kids who just became teenagers.  DON‘T EVER MINIMIZE OR BELITTLE THE WISDOM YOU HAVE GAINED THROUGH EXPERIENCE! It is a valuable gift and asset that others need and value.  Just think back, to when you were going through the same problem, I’m sure you wished “It sure would be nice if someone could give me some advice on how to best handle this situation”.  You have been through it.  You are now that someone.  A good example would be if the parents of a 13-year-old girl came home and saw that their daughter had colored her hair blue!  Don’t you think that those parents would want to read a blog post from someone titled,

“What I did it when my 13 year old came home with blue hair”.  Problems are opportunities.

Whatever family problems you are faced with, remember that the opportunities for personal growth, connection with others, increasing your knowledge, and maybe making some money, are always there.  Sometimes when we are in the maelstrom of the situation, we don’t have the time or ability to be objective enough to see the opportunities.  That’s okay.  But when things do calm down, when a particular storm does pass, sit back and reflect, and you will see the wisdom gained and the opportunity presented.

How do you prosper from this opportunity?  There are many ways but the most important way is that you have become a better parent and a better person.  Problems, tribulations, will make you a better person because they force you to become more humble and more empathetic.  When you go through difficult, tough times, when you see others also struggling, you stop seeing size, or race, or ethnicity, or social status, or religion, or job description, you just see fellow travelers on the journey through this life trying, just as you are, to do the best they can with what they have got.

Opportunities abound.  Join a parents group and commiserate.  Participate in an online forum.  Write your own blog.  Start your own group.  Volunteer at the school.  Write a book.  Make a movie.  Talk to your kids.  Talk to their friends.  Don’t stop trying, because those that stop trying, start dying.  Slowly, day by day.

By sharing your knowledge and experiences you may even make some money.  Your book may become popular, your blog may get lots of hits, you may become a popular speaker on the subject of raising troubled teens and be interviewed on TV.  But even if you don’t make money you will still prosper because you will make new friends, you’ll connect with people on a deeper level of the shared experience, you will become wiser, you will become a better member of the human race.  And what could be a more valuable reward for my problem than that?

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If you have the PAO Mindset …

You are a problem solver.

You are a goal reacher/teacher.

You focus on goals, not the inevitable distractions, disappointments.

You see the past successes and triumphs of others and yourself and believe what you see. You don’t dismiss, you observe, learn, and keep moving towards your goals.

You say to yourself “Why not?” rather than the negative rationalizing of, “They were lucky” or “They had a lot of help” or “They were blessed, gifted”.

You understand that life is made up of what you perceive. If you see problems as punishment, you will feel bad. If you see problems as opportunities, you will feel motivated.

You realize that when you pray, you empower yourself by admitting that ultimately you have no power. You admit that all you can do is reach for your goals, treat others like you want to be treated, and try to enjoy life. Beyond that, it’s out of your control.

You realize that the enemy of happiness is accepting incompetence, meanness, evil and pain.

You expect joy, laughter, happiness in your daily life. If they are not present, you create them.

You realize that since Misery loves Company, Joy loves Opportunity.

You have an attitude of always looking for opportunities to grow and prosper and learn.

You have an analytical mind set, choosing to consider rather than to complain.

You choose first to be thankful for what you have, rather than focusing on what you think you should have or deserve.

You have a mindset of embracement and exploration rather than entitlement.

You have a mindset of purpose rather than panic.

You have a mindset of deliberation rather than desperation.

You have a mindset of recognizing the ultimate joy is in the journey, not in the destination.

You have a mindset of hope rather than hopelessness.

TECHNIQUES FOR LIVING A GOAL FOCUSED LIFE

• Know that your dreams and goals are in you on purpose. They are not an accident. Don’t ever minimize or dismiss them. If you do, you are minimizing and dismissing yourself.
• Set aside time each day to focus on and work on your goals. Make this time (preferably an hour at minimum) Sacred. If you have been given a gift of your dreams and goals (which Inspire, and bring alive the Spirit in you), when you neglect this gift you will lose it.
• Take with you EVERYWHERE reminders of your goal. If it’s something you create or a picture in a magazine, a book, a figurine, a song, anything, but carry it with you throughout the day.
• Take one goal step at a time.

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PAO stands for Problems Are Opportunities and is a mindset, a philosophy, an attitude, a way of looking at and approaching life. The PAO mindset realizes that if you are alive, you’re going to have problems, little ones, medium-size ones, and big ones. It doesn’t matter who you are, how rich, or powerful, or famous, or beautiful, or physically strong, or gifted, or smart, or kind, or popular you are, you will be faced with problems. And a lot of times your problems will seem undeserved, unfair, or unjust, and your natural reaction to these problems will be to ask “Why me?”, and to feel a bit of self-pity, maybe even anger.

But, when you have the PAO mindset, which takes time and practice to develop, you don’t see problems as punishments, inconveniences or obstacles. You see them as opportunities. Opportunities to learn, to grow, prosper spiritually and financially. When you have the PAO mindset you don’t ask “Why me?”, instead you ask,”How can I prosper and grow from this opportunity?” Because EVERYTHING that has been created by people from the beginning of time has come from someone asking that question.

It’s not easy to develop the PAO mindset, because it’s in our nature to try to avoid discomfort, hard work, and pain. But successful people are the ones who have trained themselves to embrace those things because they know that discovery comes from discomfort, happiness comes from hard work, and progress and prosperity come from pain.

We will take a look at some different types of problems and a few of the myriad of opportunities they present us to prosper. But first, let’s examine the difference between the PAO mindset and what I call the PIE mindset.

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